Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category

Notre Dame “Getting the Hell out of Indiana”

Friday, March 27th, 2015

March 27, 2015, South Bend, Indiana. In a move that has caught the State of Indiana off guard, the University of Notre Dame announced today that it will be moving the entire campus five miles to the north—to Michigan. In the wake of Governor Mike Pence's having signed the so-called ...

God Abandoning Earth

Thursday, December 11th, 2014

After 4.54 billion years, God proclaimed last night that he is abandoning Earth. "I designed it so that it would be self-sustaining, supporting up to 10 billion people, but things have gotten out of hand," God told Barbara Walters in an interview aired on ABC. "I keep intervening, but evil ...

Whitesville, VA

Monday, November 10th, 2014

Marvin White, executive director of the National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP), today announced the launch of an initiative to reclaim the Friday after Thanksgiving "in the name of the race that made Capitalist America great." The organization spokesman is asking that white people everywhere boycott stores ...

Montana Sues to Stop Canadian Snow from Sneaking Across the Border

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Helena, Montana September 9, 2014 Montana's top prosecutor filed an emergency restraining order early this morning when satellite and other imagery showed snow sneaking across the border from Alberta late last night and earlier today. Officials in Canada responded saying that they do not recognize restraining orders issued by foreign courts, and ...

Shell Begins Alaska Coast Cleanup (Satire)

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Officials at Shell Oil today announced the start of a massive cleanup on the northern coast of Alaska, well ahead of drilling slated to begin this summer, far out in the Chukchi and Beaufort Seas. The cleanup area spans over 1,000 miles of coastline from Point Hope at the west ...

Fundamentalist Forecast

Sunday, July 27th, 2008

In reading today's forecast, I wondered how the National Weather Service's forecast will look once we've been completely taken over by fundamentalists… Today: Scattered showers and thunderstorms after noon. Some storms could be severe, with large hail, damaging winds, and death to infidels. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 89. South ...

Cheney’s surprise visit

Monday, February 26th, 2007

According to an article on MSNBC, Vice President Dick Cheney made an unannounced visit to Pakistan Monday to press for President Pervez Musharraf's help in combating a new Taliban offensive in Afghanistan and a resurgent al-Qaida. In an unrelated story, Shifa International Hospital is reporting that six newborn babies are ...