Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category
Friday, March 27th, 2015
March 27, 2015, South Bend, Indiana. In a move that has caught the State of Indiana off guard, the University of Notre Dame announced today that it will be moving the entire campus five miles to the north—to Michigan. In the wake of Governor Mike Pence's having signed the so-called ...
Posted in Satire | Comments Off on Notre Dame “Getting the Hell out of Indiana”
Thursday, December 11th, 2014
After 4.54 billion years, God proclaimed last night that he is abandoning Earth. "I designed it so that it would be self-sustaining, supporting up to 10 billion people, but things have gotten out of hand," God told Barbara Walters in an interview aired on ABC. "I keep intervening, but evil ...
Posted in Satire | Comments Off on God Abandoning Earth
Monday, November 10th, 2014
Marvin White, executive director of the National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP), today announced the launch of an initiative to reclaim the Friday after Thanksgiving "in the name of the race that made Capitalist America great." The organization spokesman is asking that white people everywhere boycott stores ...
Posted in Satire | Comments Off on Whitesville, VA
Tuesday, September 9th, 2014
Helena, Montana September 9, 2014
Montana's top prosecutor filed an emergency restraining order early this morning when satellite and other imagery showed snow sneaking across the border from Alberta late last night and earlier today.
Officials in Canada responded saying that they do not recognize restraining orders issued by foreign courts, and ...
Posted in Satire | Comments Off on Montana Sues to Stop Canadian Snow from Sneaking Across the Border
Tuesday, May 18th, 2010
Officials at Shell Oil today announced the start of a massive cleanup on the northern coast of Alaska, well ahead of drilling slated to begin this summer, far out in the Chukchi and Beaufort Seas. The cleanup area spans over 1,000 miles of coastline from Point Hope at the west ...
Posted in Satire | Comments Off on Shell Begins Alaska Coast Cleanup (Satire)
Sunday, July 27th, 2008
In reading today's forecast, I wondered how the National Weather Service's forecast will look once we've been completely taken over by fundamentalists…
Today: Scattered showers and thunderstorms after noon. Some storms could be severe, with large hail, damaging winds, and death to infidels. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 89. South ...
Posted in Satire | Comments Off on Fundamentalist Forecast
Monday, February 26th, 2007
According to an article on MSNBC, Vice President Dick Cheney made an unannounced visit to Pakistan Monday to press for President Pervez Musharraf's help in combating a new Taliban offensive in Afghanistan and a resurgent al-Qaida. In an unrelated story, Shifa International Hospital is reporting that six newborn babies are ...
Posted in Politics, Satire | Comments Off on Cheney’s surprise visit